Have you seen Aladdin? I watched it a few weeks ago and it's one of my favorite classic Disney movies especially since I can truly relate to Jasmine's story. Growing up my parents wanted me to get an arranged marriage with an Indian man who would take care of me financially and I absolutely disliked the idea because I’m a true romantic and wanted to marry someone I’m truly in love with who feels the same way.
Education was truly important for my parents and within my culture something that is pushed hard on us being in the South Asian community and at the time I was pursuing my MBA when my dad came to me about a marriage proposal when I was about 26 years old. My dad called me one day while I was at work to let me know he found a great guy for me and loved kids because he was a Pedestrian. I said to my dad that I wasn't interested and that him being a doctor doesn't mean anything to me plus I was already dating someone else at that time who my parents despised for good reasons which I realize now wasn't the right man for me.
I came home to discover that my parents had already arranged a meeting with this suitor at the temple the next day for me to meet without my approval. I ended up finding out that they made my sister create an online profile without my consent on a South Asian dating website, I was so furious. So being the rebel with a cause that I am, I wore the ugliest outfit I could find, had no makeup, styled my hair in a bun and wore my geeky glasses. My dad was angry that I didn't put any effort to look good because normally I’m dressed to the nines and I simply said I only dress up for me, myself and I.
When we arrived to the temple, the suitor didn't even speak to me, he looked really nervous and also only wanted to impress my dad and then eventually my dad gently told him I wasn't interested in marriage at the time and was focused on my career and education but that his second daughter was ready to wed. First off, that guy wasn't my type and secondly, he didn’t make any effort to have the courage to speak to me directly. I want a man who knows what he wants and goes for it, he has to be bold, intelligent, witty, charming and a gentleman to attract my attention. So this suitor wasn’t worthy of me and neither was he worthy for my sister either, a Queen was made only for a King, not jokers!
Once we returned home, my dad told me that if I said yes to this proposal, he'd spread the word with joy to the entire family because this guy was in love with me. I straight up told my father that he is a man and I know what this suitor wanted as a man and it had nothing to do with being in love with me, it was pure lust because he saw a pretty girl’s picture and I’m no trophy wife! I said No and I didn’t want him to announce to the entire relatives that this suitor wanted to have intercourse with his daughter, I'm blunt! I want someone who will give me a brainal (intellectual simulation is the key to my heart).
My parents had one last conversation with me the next morning when they told me they will stop pushing me to get an arranged marriage or talk about marriage at all until I came to them when I was ready and found the right man. But before my dad told me that he was only concerned for his daughter not to marry a divorces, bald-overweight man who didn't have the energy to please me sexually. I was in tears from stress and frustration but then wanted to laugh so hard because I was in shock and astonishment to what my father just said to his daughter since he was worried about my sex life and I asked myself, "where are my real parents?" I laugh about it today but it wasn't a funny moment then but I always stand my ground in what I truly believe is best for me, I never compromise my beliefs to satisfy others.
Just like Jasmine, status, money and looks don’t matter to me. I can spoil and take care of myself financially, I don't need a man to do that but instead spoil me with his time, loyalty, affection and love. I want more, the old love where two people make the effort to fight to keep each other and challenge one another to become the best versions of ourselves for the better while being supportive of each other with our individual endeavors and sharing new adventures together. What truly matters to me is someone who attracts me with their kindness, honesty, loyalty, intelligence, ambition, charm, helping others and being a true gentleman and courting me like a real man that is rare in this day and age. Never settle for anything less than you deserve in any aspect of your life and it's worth waiting for until you find the right person who is willing to invest 100% in you too! I want a builder who will build a castle and massive empire alongside me and ride the magic carpet around the world forever!